Methods Used in Couples Therapy: How Evidence-Based Approaches Strengthen Relationships

Couples therapy is designed to help partners improve communication, resolve conflicts, and deepen emotional connection. At RBM Marriage & Family Therapy, therapists use evidence-based methods that are tailored to each couple’s needs, focusing on practical strategies that foster understanding, intimacy, and long-term relationship satisfaction. Three of the most effective approaches in couples therapy are Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT), and the Gottman Method.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) in Couples Therapy

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a structured, goal-oriented approach that examines the connection between thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. In couples therapy, CBT focuses on identifying and modifying patterns of thinking and behavior that contribute to conflict or emotional distance.

How CBT Works for Couples:

• Partners learn to recognize negative thought patterns about themselves or each other.

• Therapists guide couples in reframing unhelpful beliefs to reduce conflict and misunderstandings.

• Behavioral techniques, such as communication exercises and problem-solving strategies, are used to strengthen collaboration and reduce recurring issues.

Example: A partner who frequently assumes the worst about their partner’s intentions may learn to pause and consider alternative explanations, preventing unnecessary arguments.

Benefits of CBT for Couples Therapy:

• Improves communication and problem-solving skills

• Reduces misunderstandings and reactive behaviors

• Helps couples develop constructive ways to handle conflict

Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) in Couples Therapy

Emotion-Focused Therapy centers on understanding and expressing emotions to strengthen relational bonds. It is particularly effective for couples experiencing emotional disconnection or repeated conflict cycles.

How EFT Works for Couples:

• Therapists help partners identify the underlying emotions driving conflict, such as fear, hurt, or sadness.

• Couples are guided in expressing these emotions safely, fostering empathy and connection.

• EFT promotes secure attachment and helps partners respond to each other with understanding rather than defensiveness.

Example: A partner may display anger during arguments, but EFT helps uncover that the underlying feeling is fear of rejection, allowing both partners to respond with compassion.

Benefits of EFT for Couples Therapy:

• Deepens emotional intimacy and connection

• Reduces cycles of blame, criticism, and withdrawal

• Builds empathy and mutual understanding

The Gottman Method in Couples Therapy

The Gottman Method is a research-based approach developed from decades of observational studies of couples. It provides practical tools to strengthen friendship, manage conflict, and create a lasting, healthy relationship.

How the Gottman Method Works:

• Couples enhance the friendship foundation of their relationship through shared appreciation, understanding, and positive interactions.

• Therapists teach conflict management strategies to prevent destructive patterns such as criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

• Interventions focus on increasing emotional connection, trust, and support between partners.

Example: A couple who frequently escalates arguments may learn specific techniques for communicating needs and de-escalating tension, improving cooperation and intimacy.

Benefits of the Gottman Method:

• Improves communication and emotional regulation

• Strengthens relationship friendship and trust

• Provides practical tools for preventing negative interaction patterns

Integrating Methods for Effective Couples Therapy

Many couples benefit from a blended approach that combines CBT, EFT, and the Gottman Method. At RBM Marriage & Family Therapy, therapists assess each couple’s strengths and challenges, applying techniques from these evidence-based methods to:

• Reduce conflict and negative interaction cycles

• Foster emotional closeness and secure attachment

• Enhance communication and problem-solving skills

• Support long-term relationship satisfaction and resilience

Final Thoughts - Methods Used in Couples Therapy

Couples therapy is most effective when it addresses both the emotional and behavioral aspects of a relationship. CBT, EFT, and the Gottman Method offer complementary strategies that help couples communicate effectively, manage conflict, and deepen their connection.

At RBM Marriage & Family Therapy, therapy is tailored to each couple’s unique needs, providing a supportive environment where partners can build trust, improve understanding, and create a strong, lasting relationship.